Book Review- Leadership and Self-Deception

This book was recommended to me by Saleha Khan, who's an instructor with the Ontario Police College. And my friends gifted it to me before I left Toronto.

The title of the book for many months was on the back of my head- What has leadership to do with self-deception? And it's something I could have never guessed.

The style of the book is very simple, and the story goes very slow, so you're forced either to (1) think, or to (2) read really fast. I did a bit of both.

The entire book is trying to explain just the concept of self-deception; and if you can get it right, then you're set to be a leader. The book tells you to how to see people as people, and not as objects, so that you do not justify their attitude towards you as an excuse to cover up for your own shortcomings.

I really like the way they have put examples from all the realms of life- personal, family and work- to demonstrate the same concept. Also, the way the book starts off is very intuitive- Tom walks into his manager Bud's office not knowing what he's going to expect, except that some of his colleagues told him it's something wonderful about a discovery that solves people's problems, how no one really focusses on results, and so on. That's exactly how my thoughts were. What is this really all about?

However, because this book is only focussed on one thing- Self-deception- it idealises the concept too much and makes it simple to achieve. The reality in life is far from it. It doesnt talk about dealing with dishonest people, low performers etc.

Nevertheless, I would definitely want to get my hands on the other books by the Arbinger Institute.

Change starts with You.

The changes in life are projections
of decisions that know no influence
and those that are mine
Once I lived a life that drives
inspiration in those around me
Humbled was the soul
when effects of relentless efforts
did not get reflected on the self
And that's when doubts arose
And that's when thoughts diverged
Forced to think to self
'There's no motivation'

Hope lies alone in close relations
In my dark, dusty unrealities
He lights the fire within me
Amidst my uncanny doubts
His spirit interferes to revive me
Yet again when my heart drowns
The essence of his time fills me
And when I hold up my weak hands
His strength pushes them higher

'O Soul! Will you be my downfall?'
'O Soul! Won't you pick me up?'
'O Soul! Test me not this way
for I will sure fail'

'My Lord, have I earned from Your Mercy?'
'My Lord, have I accounted for my soul?'
'My Lord, when the end is near,
Can I not be told?'

the whispers....
the whispers say 'fear not,
'You have certainly fashioned indelible footprints
But you will only be raised in spirit
if you continue walking in your wavelength
And you continue to lead by example'

A misery of two, carried alone by one

In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

ya Allah, strengthen my burdened heart
I can't seem to carry further
There is weakening in resolve
I want to give up
My hands want to take up matters
I feel they are being satirical
My self refuses to wait
I want it to end
Yet I don't want to lose what I don't have
And I don't often feel this way

This life is grieved by the spear of contentment
Every moment it is embezzling the rich taste of martyrdom
If I attain the wealth of grief in Your path,
I'll be free of the grief of both the worlds.

ya Rabb, you are the Over-Turner of hearts
Illuminate my heart and soul
Make it firm on your path
dear Lord, You have in the days of my life winds of beneficence
Make me benefit from them
ya Rabb, You are the Creator of all that's Beautiful
Make me release what I hold on to
Oh Allah, You are the Most Merciful
Make me taste the fruits of forgiveness

My lord, I am in absolute need of the good You send me

End of dreams

I was tested with you
and you with me
You failed the test
And I was left broken

Stand by the ocean side
The future beholds what the eyes see
Like the sparkling foamy rich water
Infinite in love
Infinite in care
You were dear to me

Are you now collecting
Shattered pieces of glass
While the affair of my heart
is disowned by me?
You slipped into your tomorrow
And made me of the past

You were the moonlight in my window
The last crimson sun rays
The silhouette of mountain edges
Today all I have are dreams
Would they end without you?

Beyond the soaring winds

The eagle set out
to conquer great heights
Spanning its majestic wings
from horizon to horizon

It swoops high and low
And in all its grace
cinches its preys with every launch
challenging the rules of time

Yet the pride of the eagle
brings its own downfall
Beneath all that grandeur
Lies the deluge of all that it expounds

In an artless dive for glory
Its wing ricochets the side of a rock
A loud cry reverberates through the valley
And leaves the eagle with a broken wing

With my broken wing
I have lost all strength
Every ruffle in my feathers
Reminds of the onset taint

'I must soar', I acclaim
Yet the end is here
End of great journeys
And my voice drowns in my fear

I am but a grim portrait of despair
Against the bright canvass of space
No longer able
to accomplish remarkable feats

To it belongs the conquered lands
To it is attributed all power
This creature smaller than beasts
Yet perfection it doesnt possess

The Prophet's guidance on staying healthy

Allah (swt) says in the Qur'an, 'And eat and drink but waste not by extravagance' [7:31]

Excess food is considered extravagance, and brings about ailments to the body. These few words are the key to staying healthy. How often have we eaten our full, and then continue to eat, just because of taste? Not thinking twice about what really goes on inside our body. Not thinking about stopping and thanking Allah, that he has given us bountiful, and that we have overcome our desires.
Al-Bukhari narrated in his Sahih:
Rasoolullah (saw) said: 'Two bounties regarding which many people cheat themselves: Health and free time'.
Preserving good health depends on many factors: eating and drinking sensibly, and on utilising one's clothes, place of residence, the air, sleep, being awake, mobility, idleness, relationships in the best possible manner.
Abu Bakr (ra) said that he heard the Messenger of Allah (saw) say, 'Ask Allah for certainty and good health; for indeed, no one will have a better possession after certainty of Faith than good health.'
This statement of our beloved Prophet (pbuh) joined the well being of this life, with the next life.

The Prophet (pbuh) did not restrict himself to eating one type of food. This would be harmful to one's nature. Abu Hurairah (ra) narrates that the Prophet (saw) never criticised a food, even if he disliked it.' If he did not like it, he would refrain from it. Once he was offered lizard meat, that he declined and said, 'No, but this food is not among the foods that my people used to eat, and I do not have an appetite for it', when asked if it's disallowed.
The Prophet (saw) used to especially like eating the arm and upper parts of the sheep. (This was also the part that was poisoned and offered to him).
The lightest part of the sheep is the neck, arm and thigh, and is most easily digested.

The sunnah method of eating involves:
- The food should be beneficial and helpful to the nature
- Light on the stomach
- Quickly digested

Meat, honey and sweets are the best foods and the most beneficial for the body, liver and various organs.
The Prophet (saw) used to eat bread with whatever type of condiment was available- sometimes with watermelon, meat or dates.
Eating barley with dates is one of the wisest decisions.
A lot of the times only vinegar was available, and the Prophet (pbuh) used to praise it.
He also used to eat the fruits of the season. Allah's wisdom has it that every land has it's own fruit, in every season. Eating fruits from your own land is very beneficial.
Fruits should be eaten after the food has been digested, to avoid constipation.

The Prophet (pbuh) said:
'I do not eat while leaning on m side.' He also said, 'I only sit like the slave sits and eat like the slave eats'.
He used to place his knees on the ground and would place the bottom of his left foot on the upper part of his right food in humilty for the Lord. This is the best way of eating.
The Prophet (pbuh) used three fingers while eating. How beautiful. If you used lesser fingers, the food in a bit would not be enough, and if you used all five, it would be more than the stomach could handle.
One final note before I depart- The Prophet (pbuh) never mixed fish and milk, milk and sour foods or two hot dishes, or two cold dishes, two sticky dishes, two constipating dishes, two laxative dishes, two heavy dishes two liquid foods or two types of food that produced the same condition.
He did not eat salty or rotten foods, such as pickles. Also, he neither ate a food when it is rather hot, nor old food that was heated for him the next day.
He did not join foods that cause opposite reactions, such as diarrhea and constipation, dry with fresh foods, eggs and milk or meat and milk, easily digested with heavy foods broiled with cooked foods.
All these types of food are harmful and cause the health to change for the worst.
La ilaha illallah.

The keyword is... let go

Let go, and set yourself free
Let go, and fill yourself with ecstasy

Let go, you only feel you need it
Let go, and the future's brighter without it

Let go, 6872.26 miles away from you
Let go, it's time you have to

Let go, for you're worth more than this
Let go, because your chronic situation insists

Let go, for these are your fears
Let go, and don't test your tears

Let go, life is begging you to move on
Let go, and you'll be long gone

when life will reveal
this step wasn't a big deal
and you're meant for better things

Dr Gillain's 20 Super Quick Tips

1. Drink warm water in the morning
   A warm cup of water first thing in the morning (and even better with a squeeze of lemon) goes right through the bowels and cleans the mucus out from the day before.
   
2. Lubricate, don't flood
   Your stomach needs to be lubricated, not flooded. Therefore, drink fluids, juices, perferably water, 30 min away from meals, before or after.
   
3. Chew slowly
   Chewing slowly untill food becomes liquefied is very important. The chewed food will then pass easily through your digestive system with maximum nutrient uptake.
   
4. Eat when calm
   It's difficult to digest food properly if you are upset or have just had an argument.
   
5. Not too hot, not too cold
   Ice-cold drinks weaken the organs. Eating piping hot-foods that burn your palate injure moth membranes, damage gastric stomach lining and degrate taste buds.
   
6. Decorate your plate
   Attractive food will stimulate your digestive juices!
   
7. Rotate foods
   Eating the same thing over and over again can lead to food allergies, sensitivities and intolerances. Eating a variety of food will nourish your body with a broader array of varied nutrients.
   
8. Listen to your body
   Take note of the foods you crave. Walk down the vegetables and fruits aisle and identify what smells good to you. What looks refreshing? What looks healthy?
   
9. Enzymes, enzymes, enzymes!
   Sprouted seeds, raw vegetables, raw fruits, nuts and seeds are loaded with live enzymes, the key to nutrient absorption and vibrant health.
   
10. Break the fast
    Always eat something substantial and healthy for breakfast. This is the time period when your stomach energies are at their strongest, and your digestive enzyme juices are ready to go- fresh fruit, oatmeal, millet or quinoa porridge are all good morning choices.
    
11. Nimble @ night
    Eat your last meal of the day at least couple of hours before bedtime. When you eat too late, you stress and wear out your body. A meal is not digested effectively when you go to sleep on a full stomach.
    
12. Choose cruciferous veggies
    Eat a lot of cabbage, broccoli, brussel sprouts or cauliflower. These will help you detox and energise your blood.
    
13. Drink your greens
    Once a week, make yourself a green juice- That's right, with vegetables. Here's one option, you can experiment with others: 1 carrot, 1 cucumber, 4 celery sticks, 1 fennel stalk, some spinach leaves, a tiny piece of root ginger, a parsley sprig and a handful of alfalfa sprouts (optional).
    
14. Food combine
    Fruit + Meat/Fish = Gas
    Fruit by itself = No gas
    In other words, eat foods together that don't compete.
    
15. Kidney massage
    Kidneys are the most important organs for overall vitality. At the end of each day, treat yourself to a kidney rub. Before retiring to bed, find your kidneys by placing your hands on your back below the waiste, but above your hips. Visualise a warm white light coursing through your body to your hands. Your hands will begin to feel warm as you transfer that heat and light into the kidneys. Massage the kidney region. Then lie down atop a ready-prepared hot water bottle.
    
16. Light exercise
    Any form of regular moderate exercise, stretching, walking, cycling, swimming tai chi- even dancing- will help move lymph, expel toxins, motivate teh blood and revitalise the body.
    
17. Rub a dub
    Before you get into the shower, take a body cloth, soak it into hot water and rub it all over your body, starting with the feet, and working all the way up.
    
18. Skin brush
    Brush your skin with a dry skin brush once a week to get your lymph moving.
    
19. Early to bed!
    The earlier you go to bed, the better you'll feel. The liver and gallblader conduct their detox work generally between 11pm and 2am. If you're not in bed by then, you disturb the natural cleansing process, and as a result, you'll feel sluggish. Follow the sunnah people!
    
20. Just be.
    Take 5 min of your time to "just be". Stop and reflect, before you start rushing for the day. These valuable moments will help to balance your biochemistry for the rest of the day.

Dr Gillian McKeith is the author of You are What You Eat.

Small Change big Difference

This is one of the best changes ever.. towards creating environmentally aware citizens. I'm so happy, Alhamdulillah and I bought my first bag as well!

In a push to reduce the millions of plastic bags that pollute the UAE's ecosystem every year, MAF Hypermarkets (Carrefour) today introduced reusable bags at their checkout counters as an alternative to plastic bags.Shoppers will be encouraged to purchase their own big reusable bags from Carrefour at the checkout for 2 Dirhams (cost price). If damaged at any point, the bags can be replaced at any Carrefour outlet free of charge.

Book review- The Alchemist

"My Lord I am not worthy that you should come under my roof. But only speak a word and my servant will be healed".
Jeewan said the Alchemist was a really good book from the Tazkiya point of view. That surprised me. In fact, when I took up the book, I was suprised that the main character in the story meets a lot of Muslims, and goes through Muslim lands. However, there's no mention of the name of Islam, or anything of that sort. The author does write some very interesting things about Islam, such as a crystal merchant's dream to go to Mecca for Pilgrimage; the tribal leaders' talk of Yusuf (upon him be peace) and his interpretation of the dream; and that Allah created all this in 6 days.
The backdrop in the story is superb. The blend is very smooth. You don't have to remember a single name. The destination is the Egyptian Pyramids. And personally, having been to the pyramids, the journey the shepherd makes through the dangerous desert to see the Pyramids is definitely worth it.
The story is very simple, and nice. The elemental forces in nature speak to the shepherd, and it's for the reader to reflect.
As Muslims, we should already know all this from our beliefs, and the book should serve as a pleasant reminder.
The underlying theme of the book is to realise your dreams no matter what it takes. Even if you have let go of all the gold you have.
In the first few pages of the book, the shepherd's father says that people come back to the town after all the travelling, and they don't change. And in the Qur'an, Allah encourages men to travel so that they may reflect and learn lessons. And that's what the shepherd believed in, as he started his journey. A journey where he was tested again and again, but he always always shown signs, that once you make a decision, the best thing is to stick to it, to get through it.

Book Reviews

Br Jeewan and I perused the book section @ Carrefour, as we waited for Sharon and Lisa to get some stuff for later in the evening. He asked me if I had read the Alchemist, amongst some other books. I told him I've taken up reading after 5 years, and I'm still finding it a challenge.
It was only when I started working did I start ordering books, and I probably have 80% of the books unread. And I keep adding books to my wishlist, when my sister is not around, since her regular statement is, "not another book! At least finish reading the ones you have now..."

Well, I'm trying :)

He gave me a quick review on some of the books there. And definitely most of them were books that I knew I'd never get around to reading them... perhaps if I had nothing else to do in life. But my reading time is quite limited, so I've to choose carefully.

Anyways, they gifted me The Alchemist before they left. I started reading the book.. and spent all day on it.

At the Zoo

I visited the Al Ain zoo after perhaps more than 10 years. I was in the mood for ice-skating, but Jeewan and his kids wanted to visit the zoo this past weekend when they came over to Al Ain.

The zoo has changed a lot, a lot of the fences have been replaced by glass. There's been extensive landscaping, and a bird sanctuary has been added. However, most of the zoo was under construction, which was sad. I didn't see any elephants, or rhinos, or fish. We did see snakes, alligators, African and Desert exhibits, and penguins.

I realised I had forgotten everything I knew about animals. I didn't remember the last time I even saw most of them.
When the apes talk to each other, they sounded like horns. The monkeys were the noisiest.
I observed the apes for quite some time, as Jeewan and Muad clicked away on their cameras.
I saw one of the gorillas sitting on a pedestal...and thought to myself, it's sitting just like the way humans sit- leaning their backs, with one leg stretched out, one knee bent up and an arm on it, and arm on the side to support your weight. But if you compare the creation with humans, no human would want to be turned into a monkey as any punishment.
And then I reflected on the ayah:

[2:65] And well you knew those amongst you who transgressed in the matter of the Sabbath: We said to them: "Be you apes, despised and rejected."
وَلَقَدْ عَلِمْتُمُ الَّذِينَ اعْتَدَواْ مِنكُمْ فِي السَّبْتِ فَقُلْنَا لَهُمْ كُونُواْ قِرَدَةً خَاسِئِينَ

I saw eagles and vultures, quietly staring out @ us.
And I couldn't stop thinking about the nile crocodile. The last time I was around crocodiles was when I went to Thailand in 1999. Crocodiles dont move a lot. They come from a very ancient lineage, since the times of dinosaurs, if they ever existed. They're very still in water, and most of the times their eyes are closed. Just when you're about to think its dead, or sleeping, it blinks. They look very sinister and evil. There's no good in them. You dont want to be around them. Why would even want crocodile leather? What good it is to kill an evil creature and then eat its meat as a "delicacy"? A crocodile's bite strength is upto 3,000 pounds per square inch!

I left the zoo thinking, why would Allah, of all reptiles, create crocodiles?

As you can tell, I'm not an animal person.

Sabr (Patience)

Everyone knows about patience, and everyone has their own remedy for increasing their patience.
I flipped through the book 'Healing with the Medicine of the Prophet (pbuh) by Imam Al Jauziyah, and found a small section on patience. I thought I'd type some of it, since it makes some interesting analogies. Plus, I had a hard time sleeping.

Sabr is one half of faith, as some of the Salaf say, and the other have is praise (and appreciation). Sabr is to faith as head is to body. There are 3 types of sabr:

1. Sabr while performing Allah's commands, so that one does not ignore (or get bored) with them.
2. Sabr with resisting doing wrong by shunning the prohibitions.
3. Finally, sabr with accepting what destiny thrusts upon you as decisions of Allah instead of being enraged at them.

When one has acquired these 3 types of patience, one's patience will be complete and the delight of the next life will be whole. The person has achieved a win-win situation, winning in both the worlds. No person will achieve these great rewards except by passing over the bridge of sabr, just as how no one will enter Jannah unless he passes over the sirat.

Much of the illnesses and the sicknesses that attack the body and the heart are a result of impatience. Sabr is the best preserver of the health of the heart, body and the soul.

And we know from the Qur'an that patience is the tool to achieve success. Victory comes with patience.

Amjad R. M Syed in his book, Islamic Perspective on Prayers and Coping with Sickness writes:

You can practise sabr by:

Not complaining or cursing your fate

Engaging in dhikr

Asking Allah (swt) to keep us steadfast in Imaan

Gaining taqwa by giving charity

Seeking astaghfar (Allah's forgiveness)

Helping others who are in more difficult than ourselves

Reciting, listening to, or contemplating on the Qur'an

Reading, finding out and trying to follow the examples of sabr practiced by the Prophets, Companions of Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) and the favoured servants of Allah (swt)

Always being thankful to Allah (swt) for the good things He has bestowed you

Lunch breaks

Whenever I worked, I always had something going on during my lunch breaks.
At Sick Kids, I'd mostly have meetings with the Muslim Chaplain in the lunch hour. Sometimes, I'd visit a patient. Or do a quick round of groceries. Towards the end of my employment there, I'd have once a week aromatherapy classes. It would be a challenge trying to eat while doing something else, but I absolutely enjoyed doing chaplaincy work whenever I could. Sometimes my lunch breaks would get longer (also had to pray Dhuhr) I'd just work late.

At the aerospace institute lab, the summer before I joined Sick Kids, I would go down to the first floor to the Alumni office, and help them with dinner preparations- such as photocopying pictures from year books and sticking them onto boards, or calling people to invite them. It was summer, and there wasn't much going on around the engineering buildings.

At Ryerson, I'd mostly spend my time reading during the breaks, since I wasn't too familiar with the campus. I would also bike around a lot, since that was my first summer biking after a gap of about 10 years.

And for the jobs I did in UAE... there were no lunch breaks. Lol.

Yaqtin (Gourd)

Source: Healing with the Medicine of the Prophet, translated by Jalal Abual Rub

Yaqtin means gourd or pumpkin, although the word Yaqtin entails more meanings than these two. Yaqtin in Arabic entails every tree that does not have a stem, such as watermelon and cucumbers. Allah said:

و انبتنا عليهِ شجرةً مّن يقطين
"And We cause a plant of gourd to grow over him" [37:146]

The Yaqtin mentioned in the Qur'an is the pumpkin, which is also called Dubbaa or Qar'.

In the Sahihain it is narratedd by Anas bin Malki (ra) that a tailor once invited the Messenger of Allah (swt) to eat from some food that he made. so I (Anas) went with the Messenger of Allah (ra) and the tailor brought forth some bread made from barley and some soup that hd Dubbaa and dried meat. I saw the Messenger of Allah follow the traces of the Dubbaa all around the edge of the pot, which made me love Dubbaa ever since that day."

1. Yaqtin is a type of cold and wet plant and a light food that is easily digested. If the gourd was not spoiled in the stomach before being completely digested, it produces a good mixture in the stomach especially when one eats similar or compatible types of food with it. For example, making mustard and pumpkin produces bitter humor, while eating it with salt makes it salty and with constrictive substances makes it constipate. when it is cooked with Safarjal (quince), it will provide good nutrition for the body.
2. Gourd is light on the stomach, especially for those who do not suffer from phlegm or cold condition. The wetness contained in this plant helps ease thirst and headaches if one drinks its extract or washes his head with it. Also gourd soothes the stomach however one uses it, and is very beneficial for those who have hot temperaments.
3. Also when Yaqtin is kneaded with dough and baked in the oven and then its extract is mixed with some light drinks, it helps cool down fever, quenches the thirst and constitutes a good, nutritious food. If it as mixed with quince jam and Manna, it eliminates bile.
4. When pumpkin is cooked and its juice is mixed with some honey and Natron, it will cause phlegm and acid. If gourd was ground and then the head is bandaged with it, it will help ease the hot swellings in the cerebral.
5. When the gourd rinds are squeezed and the extract is mixed with rose oil and used as ear drops, it will help against hot tumors. Also its rind helps ease the swelling of hot eye infections and against gout.
6. When gourd finds some spoiled mixtures in the stomach, it also gets spoiled causing harmful mixtures in the stomach. In this case, one should treat this condition with vinegar and sour substances.

In general, it's one of the most lightest food and easily digested.