Saturday, August 11, 2007


It happened so fast. There were so many preparations going on. I didn't think death was so close, but it was, and because we're humans, we didn't know.
We all met V a year and half ago when we started the Shariah program. I remember my TTC rides with her, we'd talk about languages and our jobs. I learnt that she lived alone with her mother.

I connected with V again this summer, when she offered to be one of my participants for my fitness practical exam. She was great. She would always tell me, "take care of yourself", "slow down", "you have a lot of energy!", she would always have a dollop of advice for me and I was grateful for friends like her. She mentioned to me that her mother wasn't well. I wish back then I had probed her more to tell me what the matter was.

A few weeks ago, Hafsa checked up on her. The doctors had confirmed cancer and the treatment had to be done right away. After that, V needed to make continuous arrangements for her mother's treatment. Sawitri, Hafsa, Sana, Aunty Farida, Zarah, and Kahkashan were all taking turns to check up on her and help with any tasks. This was barely two weeks ago. Last week we had to find her a temporary place close to a hospital, and Alhamdulillah, through craigslist, facebook and other venues we managed to get a place in a day. Next was moving into that appartment. It was as extremely hot, and two of girls got her an air conditioner. The doctor and nurse were visiting regularly. But then her mother had to be taken to emergency because of a blockage in her catheter. Her condition worsened rather quick.

I couldn't imagine what V was going through. She put everything she could behind her mother's treatment- from taking days off work to making sure she got the best treatment. The girls were constantly around her, calling her and checking up on her. Most days, we'd get updates on email every hour. The sisterhood in action was simply superb. It was selfless devotion to a person of another faith.

Today, Hafsa told me the sad news that her mother passed away in the hospital after she was unconscious for a few hours. None of us were aware of what the procedure is for the funeral. All I knew was that the hospital and the funeral home take care of all the arrangements, it's rather simple. I thought about V.... I've been on the phone constantly with Hafsa talking about what's going on and what we should do. The latest update is that the girls have just reached the hospital and are going with V to get something to eat.

We had too many questions because we were dealing with a person of another faith. However, when faced with death, our emotions are all the same.

Death is always closer than we think. But today, I made a quiet resolution to make the most of my time with my family. Often we end up taking people around us for granted, and events like these knock the senses back into our heads. And often, we never realise how much we value someone, until they're gone. I'm sure my friends who're with V are thinking the same.


Hafsa said...

And often, we never realise how much we value someone, until they're gone. I'm sure my friends who're with V are thinking the same.

You are right... yesterday will insha Allah act as a reminder for all of us. Siting in the subway for more than 45 minutes - from Kipling to Yonge - I couldn't help thinking how we get caught up with lil' things in life - stuff that doesn't matter @ the end of the day.

Family - they often get ignored amongst the chaos of our daily mundane acts. What better example of being there for our family than V's!!

Anonymous said...

>And often, we never realise how much >we value someone, until they're >gone.

Did not tink you'd ever realize that but better late than never. N Gud resolution abt spending time wit thee family.

U were @ Sick Kids right so ask Ayman about the funeral procedures, dey have chaplins of many faiths, who can help

Hafsa said...

anonymous.. you obviously don't know Humairah.
If you had known her, first, you wouldn't have said your first comment, and second, not hidden under the veil of anonymous.

Reminder first to myself, and then to you:

Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:

Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said, ".....he who believes in Allah and the Last Day let him speak good or remain silent".

[Al-Bukhari and Muslim].

sheepoo said...

اِنّا لِلّہِ وَ اِنّااِلیہِ راجِعُون
May the departed soul rest in peace and may Allah provide the Family with patience and the courage to pass through this hard time!