Monday, July 02, 2007

Living for a purpose

There were very few days I felt lost and confused about priorities in life, but when I lapsed into that state today, I knew talking to the Rock would be the only way to get me out of it.

I slipped out of my house, and went and sat besides The Rock. I was quiet for some time. I felt a surge inside me, of so many feelings and thoughts, and it was rare for my feelings to mix and fight with my thoughts, but something like that was happening.
"How are things ever going to change for me, when I can't make decisions fast enough? And I can't produce results efficient enough? And I can't experience change frequent enough?"
"Take a deep breath. There's no reason to worry!"
"Yes there is. Sometimes I know where I'm headed, but most of the times, I'm really shooting arrows in the dark."
"What's wrong with shooting arrows in the dark? With practice, one does not need the light if they know their target well."
"That doesn't make any sense. Life isn't perfect like that. And you're talking about a lifetime of a practice. And I don't want to shoot arrows in the dark. Why stumble?"
"Because sometimes, that's the only way to learn. And sometimes, lessons learnt that way are the lessons that will light up your path."

I was confused. The Rock was telling me that it's okay to continue to live the way I was living, the confusion was normal, because I'll learn as I go, and that'll take me to my goal. But.. it can't be that simple, can it?
"Well, what about the other ways to learn?"
"You experience those as well. Everyone does. In life, everything is so dynamic, how much can you plan, and expect it to go according to your plans?"
"But.. one has to plan, thereafter if things don't go as planned, that's a different story. In this world we're not just meant to sit and wait for things to happen, we have to work for them."
"Yes, that's right. You are right."
"Then what??"
I was exasperated. The Rock and I were just talking in circles, without getting anywhere. Maybe this was something I had to figure out myself.
"Nothing... thanks. I have to run. Bye".
The Rock smiled. Apparently, it was amused, as always. It looked at the colorless horizon. and knew that times were changing for her.
"Because, you still have to learn to live for a purpose", it whispered. But she was gone...

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